el.mustafa wrote:
...There's nothing in the documentation about which ports to configure...
It can be hard sometimes to find the specific technical things if you don't already know exactly what you are looking for, kinda "catch-22" I guess

Looking in Maxwell manual at page 87 they have written about ports, where to set it up in manager, node and monitor (File -> Preferences) and that you should only use the default ports.
Default ports are 45454 - 45474 btw if you look it up in manager/node/monitor
el.mustafa wrote:
....There is no option to nominate a server by IP in the network manager....
Page 86 in the manual,
Quote:
...• Type in mxnetwork –help for more information about advanced command line flags to
connect a Render Node or a Monitor to a specific Manager...
And if you type the -help command in mxnetworks..
Code:
C:\Program Files\Next Limit\Maxwell 2>mxnetwork.exe -help
-help
MAXWELL NETWORK
OPTIONS:
-manager Launch Maxwell network manager
-node | -rendernode | server Launch Maxwell render node
-monitor Launch Maxwell monitor
-rendernode:ip Launch Maxwell render node and bind it to
the given manager ip
-rendernode:name Launch Maxwell render node and bind it to
the given manager name
-monitor:ip Launch Maxwell monitor and bind it to the
given manager ip
-monitor:name Launch Maxwell monitor and bind it to the
given manager name
-addjob:scene Add the given scene to the job queue
EXAMPLES
i.e > mxnetwork -manager
i.e > mxnetwork -node
i.e > mxnetwork -node:192.168.0.99 binds to manager with IP:192.168.0.99 <----- *** This is what you are looking for I guess :) ***
i.e > mxnetwork -monitor
i.e > mxnetwork -monitor:mymanager binds to manager with name:mymanager
i.e > mxnetwork -monitor -addjob:/users/scene.mxs
Press any key to continue.
el.mustafa wrote:
...easily communicate with using SSH terminal
how can I make the Maxwell Network manager on my desktop aware of it?...
Well the best help I can give here
http://www.google.com/search?q=samba%20ssh 
You need to at least have the SMB protocol enabled in your SSH setup. After that you need to enable the Maxwell ports... don't know if it will work but let me know if you're going for it.
el.mustafa wrote:
That would avoid the VPN router altogether.
There are (free) software alternative VPN solutions instead of the costly hardware alternative, Windows has one build in and there are several out there that are easy to setup like Hamachi. This solution is easier to setup than SSH I guess, maybe because I've done it my self so many times

Hope this will help you.